Adjusting Made Easy

One of the first steps of the adoption process was to take an on-line course on parenting a child from another culture. Several friends remarked at the time that they would have rather taken such a course than just being handed a newborn at the hospital and essentially told, "OK, it's yours. Go home and raise it." My thinking (after chapter 16 or so) was that our method of conception was completely the opposite of the usual process: many people conceive as a result of a lack of planning, we were having a child after an excess of planning.

Part of our educational process was to read books on toddler adoption. After reading the horror stories on the difficulty of attachment for toddlers, any sane person would have rethought their plan and requested an infant. (Perhaps this is a reason why most people request infants.) The challenges of helping a toddler adjust to a new family in a new culture seemed immense. So when T & I (hmm... a new abbreviation...who could the mysterious "I" be?) received a referral for a toddler, there was some trepidation once the excitement wore off. Adoption professionals apparently understand this completely and therefore give you more paperwork to do to keep you from worrying. Our attitude was that we were prepared for the worst and could still hope for the best.

C's ease of adjusting so far exceeds even the most hopeful expectations I had. The first week, the most significant issue was adjusting to the time change. He wanted to sleep most the day and stay awake most of the night (he gets that from T). He also wasn't eating as much as he was in VN. We thought this was a time issue too--he thought we we trying to feed him at midnight and 6 a.m. In about a week, he had adjusted his sleeping patterns and his eating increased simultaneously. We took a chance taking him to church the first Sunday. Given his desire to be on the go constantly, we feared he wouldn't tolerate an hour long service very well. (OK, Pastor D was preaching, so it probably was somewhat longer...) Yet he stayed quiet throughout the service, clapped along to some of the songs, had a snack during the sermon, and drifted off to sleep by the end. And he did the same the second Sunday as well. He is still a bit overwhelmed by all the people coming up and talking to him.

He is almost always in good moods. T has taken him to play with several other children and he has done really well. He has stayed in his own room through the night once. (Neither T nor E slept well that night as we kept wondering why he wasn't crying and demanding that we bring him to our room. T got up at least once to make sure he was still breathing.)

Our only glitches were a second puking incident (the first was in Hanoi). It occurred when T was chasing him around for a diaper change. This incident was still E's fault as he gave C "too much" mango juice to drink. E is demanding the FDA require warnings be placed on the labels of mango juice containers: "Chasing your child after 1.3 cups of mango juice or greater may result in expulsion of contents." The second glitch--the run in with the fireplace hearth--has already been reported. C survived this incident with his considerable level of resiliance. In fact, he is now quite proud of his "boo-boos" and points them out to any female who might be willing to kiss it to make it better. He also continues to point to his hand to display a boo-boo that has since healed. Hey, if you can get additional sympathy (or extra kisses), why not?

C had his first doctor's appointment on Tuesday. He had blood drawn, so came home with 2 more boo-boos. When Ba got home, C showed off his band-aides immediately. C is in the 75th percentile for height (he gets that from E!!!) and 50th percentile for weight. In addition to blood tests, C also has to have a poop scan (or something like that). T has been putting on her surgical gloves and scooping poop into "specimen containers" (not "viles" for you dunces out there--she's still behind me to correct my appaling ignorance of simple medical terminology...). I'm told the poop scan will reveal the presence of critters (back to E's terminology since he didn't understand the last 5 things that were said to him. Perhaps this is why all the males in my family have lost their ability to hear high range voices...or at least familiar ones.) We go back to the doctor's office on Friday to have stitches removed (E eagerly looks forward to being enlightened by a 2 way medical conversation between T and Dr. D. E knows half the conversation will occur primarily to show off their extensive vocabularies of words that are too obscure even for the SAT.)

E is happy to make a reappearance on this blog after finally finishing the grading of exams and papers that were waiting for him when he returned from VN. Finals are next week, so it may be a cameo. My students wondered how I could be in a tropical region, with temps in the mid-80s most days, and return without a tan. The pale man also avoided malaria, so my German and Irish blood tells me that ditching the tan was worth it.