Seven Months...

Hi everyone!

It's naptime and Mum-mum has time to blog. Tomorrow, the Di Man will have been home with us for seven months. It's amazing to see how much he's grown (both physically and developmentally) since he arrived home. He is, for the most part, a very happy, well-adjusted little boy. Ba and Mum-mum have learned that life is never perfect and C does exert his attempts to overthrow and thwart the Heb Republic through his mini-meltdowns (especially when he is extremely tired --- but heck, I'm probably the same when I'm tired...one cranky Mum-mum, just ask Ba).

In the seven months that we've been home, we've seen this little boy more fully develop his personality. He is such an affectionate and loving little boy. Mum-mum is enjoying receiving as many kisses as possible before C grows up & kissing his mom becomes "uncool." Kisses are required each time he is buckled into his carseat, before leaving for the destination.

We have a great deal of respect for single parents. Having E with me as an incredibly attentive parent has been a blessing. We are truly partners in the full sense of the word. At first, Colin needed both of us with him at night to fall asleep (remember at the care center, the kids were never alone - someone was always there with him, both the kids and care caregivers). He couldn't fall asleep in the crib & had to have a blanket on the floor w/ his pillow. We'd have to lay beside him until he fell asleep, then put him in the bed. Consistency was so very important (and tends to still be the case...although if we've been out, C has fallen asleep as long as one of us was in the room with him). As he grew in his feelings of security and trust of us, we were able to transition to him falling asleep in the crib (one very long hour of C crying/sobbing/standing in the crib) w/ both of us sitting on the floor beside the crib, to his new "big boy car bed," to only needing one of us to be with him as he falls asleep. Even in seven months, C cannot fall asleep without one of us being in the room. But, you know what, that's okay w/ me. One day, he won't need us to tuck him in tight, say prayers, or be with him as he falls asleep.

C is also strongly opinionated (like most toddlers I know). He definitely has his preferences in foods/drinks/toys & whether Mum-Mum or Ba is the one who gives him a bath (or puts him to bed - E and I alternate...if I help C w/ bath, E puts him to bed, and vice versa). Last night, C had a meltdown when I suggested that Ba give him a bath & Mum-mum put him to bed (he was insistent on the opposite - and let the screaming begin...so, after about five minutes of sobbing and reaching through the banister railings, it's time to go calm, soothe, and transition into bath). That was okay until Mum-mum informed him that it was time to wash his hair...for which C puckered out his lips and (clearly) and firmly stated (w/ arms folded across his chest), "No hair wash Mum-mum." When Mum-mum insisted C would have his hair washed, she quickly became deluged with water, courtesy of a Dixie-cup water grenade launcher. Talk about Baptism by fire...A two-minute time out (including simple but firm words of reprimand from Mum-mum and Ba), and a hair wash later, Happy Boy returned when Mum-mum and Ba wrapped C with his towel, Ba began rocking him (part of C's bathtime ritual), and he serenaded with "Adelweiss" and "Rock a Bye Baby" (for which he looked at us and said "More!" and smiled).

So in essence, in these months we've learned how important is truly is to learn our child's personality. C thrives in an environment where there is structure (w/ some flexibility being okay...he doesn't meltdown if he isn't in bed at the same time each night...the time change helped us learn that). At the same time, we're getting better at knowing when he's reaching the boiling point and usually can intervene before he bubbles over and melts. C reacts well to distraction (this has come in handy so many times in the past seven months) and knowing the "rules." (I dare say that C has this personality trait because as the oldest in his care center in VL - surrounded by infants - C aspires to be the "enforcer").

He's also very patient (appropriate, seeing that his middle name means 'patient' in VN), especially w/ language. There are times he uses jargon (happens w/ toddlers when they have around 50 words established in their vocabulary) and we don't always fully understand what he's saying. Early on, we worked with him to "show me" what he wanted if we couldn't understand what he was saying. So now, if we don't understand, he says, "show me" and then shows us what he wants.

I am a strong believer in using sign langauge to help in language transition. Early on, I learned a few signs for the most important words (eat, drink, stop, no, more, all done, thank you, cracker, etc.) and when teaching, used the VN word (if I knew it), the sign, and the English word (in that order). He learned the signs (or at least his version of the signs) so quickly. In those early days, the signs were extremely beneficial in keeping both his and our sanity.

We have been fortunate that C has not shown signs of institutional delays. The VL care center was very small, so Colin received so much positive attention and care from his nannies. I personally feel the care he received was one of the reasons he transitioned as well as he did.

You know, we have been so very blessed to be C's parents. Each day is truly a new adventure. The past seven months have passed so very quickly (much faster than I could have ever imagined) and I can only look forward to the lessons and experiences we have yet to gain!

Happy Fathers Day!

I had my first Fathers' Day yesterday. It capped a big week. My parents were down from PA and C kept us all busy.

Wednesday, we went to the Carolina Raptor Center to see lots of big birds. C especially liked the owls. (Today, I had to draw four of them for him). On Thursday, Grandpa ("Pa"), Grandma ("Ma") and I ("Ba") went to the spraygrounds at a nearby park. It's basically a large series of fountains for kids to run through and get wet. It wasn't sunny when we arrived and the water was cool, so it took a long time for C to play in the water. Borrowing a squirt gun from other kids and using it to shoot grandma helped--as did the sun's appearance and the attendant 10 degree jump in the temp. Once he started playing with the jets of water, he had a good ole time. On Friday, we (T was working Thurs & Fri) went to the Whitewater center and walked the trail around the rapids. Several kayakers and rafters were in the water, so there was lots to see to keep us entertained. Saturday, we went to the NC zoo in Ashboro. I've always enjoyed going to zoos. This time, I had the added bonus of going as a dad and enjoying watching C's reactions to the animals. He loved the giraffes, the chimps, and the lizards (oh yeah, and the owl). The otter was mauling a fish close-up when we arrived there--that was a good show! C said, "Eat fish." Yeah, but I prefer my cooked (and without the eyeballs and guts). The sea lions were especially entertaining as we could view them swimming from an underwater viewing area. As they would swim just past us on the other side of the glass, C would do a giddy dance. Very entertaining. We are happy to report to Cousin A that we found the elephant! C was really a good sport. We planned to stay until about 2, but he was having such a great time that we stayed until 4 (and of course, T and grandma needed ice cream before we went home).

(Sea) lions & tigers & bears...oh my!

Sunday was the big day. Though it was Father's Day, that is not what made it the big day. C was baptized. Not only were my parents there, but T's mom and sister and niece H were there too. Pastor W showed C the font, let him test the water, and put some water on his head before the service so he would know what was coming and would be cool with it during the service. He was perfectly composed--during the practice run. During the main event, he refused to go to Pastor W (no surprise), then loudly said "no" when Pastor W tried to put water on his head. The congregation was greatly amused. (And let's face it, the main reason people pay attention during baptisms is to see the antics of the child. Populists that we are, we'll give them some mayhem! Next week, lions and circuses!) At this point, T relieved me of my duties holding C to ensure that the remainder of the ceremony would go more smoothly. Pastor W encouraged C to put his hand in the water to assure him that it was not "hot" and this put him sufficiently at ease so the Pastor could get three scoops on his head. Then Pastor W got out the oil for C's forehead and discovered that toddlers' heads swivel very quickly and make difficult targets. T's friends sung a special anthem in honor of C which added greatly to the meaningfulness of the occasion.

And then, being good Lutherans, we ate! We had the whole family and our good friends J&W (I know they've been jealous of me being "E" for these many months) over for a cookout. For dessert, W brought a strawberry Charl, which for those of you aren't culinary experts is a Charlotte without enough lady fingers to cover the top. (Mobsters probably have a different name for it when someone is missing some digits.) T, however, was concerned that a few missing lady fingers would ruin my fathers' day so had to break out the cake she had baked (well at the insistence of her sister - who does not like strawberry desserts--or most fruit desserts for that matter). Lest you think that we would be too full to eat a second dessert, T&W strategically took 3 or 4 hours to make the icing, so that we would have room (savvy planning!). Two desserts--good deal any day!

C made a storybook from the Playhouse Disney website for he and I to color together as my Fathers' Day present. He made and painted a ceramic handprint for grandpa's present. My card featured a giraffe, grandpa's featured cars. Good evidence that he picked them out; and the other evidence was that when we opened the cards, he wanted to keep the cards (he liked them so much)!

Sunday evening we went to the Charlotte Symphony (why someone would name the symphony after the cake in the preceding paragraph is entirely unclear to me. The tuba players, however, seemed to have all of their fingers...). Grandma and Grandpa, as long time musicians, were stunned and impressed that 10,000 people would show up for an orchestral concert. Of course, 10,000 show up to eat, yak, and gawk at others who are eating, drinking and gawking; the music is somewhat incidental. Usually we rely on the conductor to provide the comic relief--and he didn't let us down--but C and his new friend A danced the night away, much to our amusement. Let the record show that he did not dance the Macarena. There is still some sanity in this world!

"Ma, 'raf..." ("Look Grandma, there's a giraffe" in Colinese).