The Vinh Long Experience

We arrived in VL on Tuesday evening after spending most of the day in Ben Tre. The drive from BT to VL was the most rural of the drives we had. This trip was closer to what I expected the whole trip to be like. Most of the roads are surrounded by development--mostly small shops and surprisingly few farms, rice paddies, etc. Lots of people in BT/VL grow ornamental shrubs in their yards for sale, presumably at the markets or to wholesalers. T provided the entertainment during the ride by teaching the Vietnamese agency staff American kids songs, and later, Spanish.

We arrived in VL by ferry boat in the darkness of the evening. The town was larger than I expected, but similar to many respects to the other towns through which we traveled--lots of small shops, lots of people and scooters out and about. Our hotel was in the downtown business district, next to a modern "Wal-Mart" type establishment.

We had looked forward to Wed morning for a long time. It was our first visit to the care center to see CN. We were meeting with the head social worker of the care center when CN appeared on the stairs outside the room. We went out to greet him and he started to scream! Ideally, one hopes for hugs and kisses, but that's not terribly realistic in this situation. T brought along bubbles which, with coaxing from the nannies, helped to calm him down. T got out the camera to take "first pictures" and he wanted nothing to do with that. It took kicking and rolling a ball before he really started to warm up to us. Once we went outside to play on the sliding board and throw the ball high in the air, he started to laugh and giggle and hold onto us.

We also had a tour of the rest of the facility--a school for blind, deaf, and mute children. We had "treats" to distribute and thus were well received. One of the classes performed a song for us. T, always ready to perform, was ready to sing along but they made it difficult by singing an Asian tune in Vietnamese.

In the afternoon, T got details of CN's schedule from the nannies, while CN and E blew bubbles for hours. (There's a metaphor for something in that final clause...) When it was time to return to the hotel, CN held our hands as we walked to the bus. Apparently the nannies had told him that he would be leaving with us on a bus (but didn't mean Wed). So he was confused and started blawing when E tried to hand him back to a nanny. That was really rough.

Wed evening, we had dinner with a friend of a friend (who is a colleage roommate of the wife of one of E's colleagues) who lives in VL. Small world effect/Kevin Bacon effect or something along those lines. We rode from the hotel to his home on the backs of scooters--it isn't the death defying experience it appears to be when you're watching them do it from a van. (But I also think these drivers were driving especially gently, given the international norms that it is impolite to make one's guests crap their pants before dinner.) It was a very relaxing evening. Only our host spoke English, but he translated for his kids, wife, and parents in law. We had mini-bananas and chom-choms as appetizers. The father in law grew these on his farm and they were excellent--much better than the same fruits we had eaten from the local markets. The meal consistent of three courses: pork and veggie egg rolls (E forgot that if you clean your plate, the host refills it. And it took doing this three times before he finally wised up--slow learner!), beef and noodles, and fish (snake fish) wraps. A VN red wine from the central mountains also was served; T had sweetened, fresh squeezed OJ. Everything was excellent. We ate with the men in the front room, the women and youngest son stayed in the kitchen.

Thursday was the big day. We met the children at the care center; they and the nannies rode with us to the Ministry of Justice for the Giving and Receiving ceremony. We were quickly moved to another room so a wedding could be officiated. The wait was long and hot. The G&R ceremony itself was straightforward. We checked the paperwork for errors, thanked our hosts for allowing us the opportunity to adopt, accepted the charge from the officials to bring up our son to be a good citizen, to familiarize him with his VN heritage and to bring him back someday. Then, as befits this entire process, the VN adoption process ended with signing more paperwork! The nannies kept the children entertained at the table in the room as the ceremony progressed.

We then had to wait for a while as the legal documents were notarized and translated. By now, it was quite hot and uncomfortable and the children's patience (which really had been remarkable) was spent. The nannies continued to step in to help to calm them down but disappared just before it was time for us to board the bus. The most touching goodbyes occurred as we were waiting during the delay for the ceremony to begin.

We stopped for lunch before leaving VL. The restraunt had a play area and CN also was entertained by the fish, birds, bats and various exotic animals in cages or tanks who were waiting their turn to provide someone's dinner. CN slept most of the drive back to HCMC, but was fascinated by all the scooters, traffic, noise, etc.

All in all, it was an amazing experience and went as well as one could reasonably expect.